I sit on the couch tapping my over grown fingernails on the keyboard as I search for inspiration and try to think of something profound and yet delightfully witty to write about. Trying to discuss this past year and all it entailed (since you wouldn't know from reading my blog posts or rather lack thereof). I try to remember all the lil tidbits that would come to my mind throughout all these days past that I thought I'd like to share. I pull up a few of the blogs and news outlets I read online daily and try to search for the different articles/ blog entries that have sparked ideas and suddenly a flood of questions hits me..... Where has the year gone? Why didn't I ever get to all those things I said I was going to do "later"? What was it I was doing that was so important that I continued to put it all off time and time again? What did I do in this year that made me happy? Am I truly happy with where I am? What I'm doing? Where I've come? No. I'm not.
Now don't get me wrong, I love my life and thank the good Lord every day that I'm blessed to have it. I have a healthy, loving husband, the greatest, funniest 9 yr old there ever was, 2 of the freakin' cutest chihuahua puppies you've ever seen, and family and friends that know me best and still somehow manage to love me the most. I'm a blessed and fortunate girl and I know it. But blessings and luck will only get you so far, at some point in every success story there's good old fashioned work, hard work. And I, well to be honest, I haven't been putting in the work. I've been doing the bare minimum and expecting things to just happen. Not taking any steps forward, just kinda getting by and hoping things would somehow change, they'd have to right? You might be able to tell by the number of blog entries, things haven't exactly worked out that way. Somehow I'm not sure, I've forgotten that I am *an aspiring photographer; hell it even says so on the top page of this blog! Yet, I've tried not to really get into it and what it's meant to me, the struggles I've encountered and the times I've wanted to scream and the times I've wanted to cry. But why, why even try to hide that? Why not talk about my faults, but then the lessons I've learned through them? Why not be open throughout this process and share this journey? That's what I intended, it's the reason I started this blog, because I was ready, ready to pursue what I wanted out of this life and I was ready to see what all that would mean to me. So now, what do I have to lose? People will hate it?...OK, so they won't read it. Seriously, worse things have happened. :)
Here I sit now another year older and although I'm not exactly where I'd like to be I finally realize if this is ever going to work, I'm gonna have to work my ass off for it. And now suddenly, I'm ok with that. :)
Since every post is better with a pic, here's the camera I'm currently
lusting saving up for. I had hoped the
rumors were true and the new Canon 5D Mark III would be released on my birthday, but alas no. Not that I would've been up ordering it from
B&H, but ah well, a girl can dream!
Till next time
-Triny
**part of moving on and doing more rather than just thinking about it involves sharing the work that's been sitting on my computer waiting to be seen by someone other than me (of course, the clients have had their discs for months). So up next 7 sessions!!! It's really late, but I'm already going and don't wanna quit till it's done so there may not be much to read, but of course you've read plenty already! ;)
